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“Having a baby made it not sink in. When he passed away, I didn’t pick up on it as a sign of grief, but I didn’t want to see people. I isolated myself from everything aside from being a mum.”
As a First Nations woman, Maddy moved to Darwin as a teenager, and did not have a support network around her. She was introduced to Brave’s SEPT program through Darwin’s Young Mums Strong Mums program but taking part in a program wasn’t something she was interested in. She met her Brave mentor and was able to open up about her grief and isolation.
“I met [mentor] and she was here to help. It surprised me how much she has helped during the journey. She could help me get out of my shell with the other mums. ”
When it came to setting goals, Mel was reluctant because her goals felt unachievable.
“It started more just talking because I didn’t have goals… I was resistant to setting goals. I had a house and I wanted a car but I didn’t see it as feasible. Staying engaged in the program was a goal and I wanted to do it. Socialising was a big one for me and seeing someone repetitively and talking helped a lot.”
Mel believes her mentor was a critical support in her journey as an individual and parent. This included naming her child’s father on the birth certificate, choosing her first car, getting her drivers licence, studying and then getting a job. Her mentor also supported her through the court system in relation to ex-partners death.
“She was knowledgeable in the sense of how to go about things. When I had my baby, I thought my career was gone and without the father in the picture, I thought it wasn’t doable especially without having mum and dad around. She had a big impact on how I turned everything in the right direction. When I think about it, there wasn’t pressure when I was working with her. She wasn’t forcing me, she met me where I was at to get me to the goals I had for myself.”
Mel completed further study and is now working to give back to her community.
“I never had a plan of what I wanted to do as I got older… I see myself going down the career path now because it is something I am really into.”
Mel believes being a young parent has helped her uncover her softer side.
“Living independently, I had to be strong and stern, but [child] allows me to be present and patient and trust because they push boundaries. It teaches you to embrace the moment – you don’t know everything.”
*Names, image and some details have been changed for privacy.