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“I had rebellious early teen years – I wasn’t going to school, I was trying to find my position in the world. When I got pregnant, I lost a lot of friends, people didn’t like it and my friends’ parents were very upset with me. A lot of people told me I shouldn’t have a baby and I was immature for having a baby.”
Throughout her pregnancy, River felt isolated and unsupported.
“The only person who hung around my whole pregnancy was my partner. I had no friends and was homeless for most of my pregnancy.”
During her pregnancy and with her first son, River was moved between refuges and foster homes. She often felt judged by the professionals who were meant to support her.
“I got judged very harshly, just because of my age. It wasn’t my parenting skills, I went to so many classes, it was just based around my age.”
Despite the challenges, River and her partner made the decision to try for a second baby when she was 16, due to medical reasons. Their second son was born a month after she turned 17.
Although she reflects on the difficulties of that time, she holds no regrets.
“It (parenting) gives you a purpose. As a teenager, everyone goes through hormones and troubled teenage stuff, but (being a parent) shows you what reality is really like, shows that you could be doing, rather than what everyone else is doing. People are going to parties and you’re sitting at home with a baby, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
Now, River is focused on creating a better life for her children.
“You can break a cycle, you can do it differently than how you were raised. This is not what my kids are going to go through. It (being a young parent) proves to yourself that you have the strength and courage to do everything, to feel very proud of yourself and be happy!”
Just before her second child was born, River made the decision to return to school and it was her high school which referred her to Brave.
“I wanted to do my schooling. I wanted support as a teen parent and my school reached out to Brave.”
Through Brave, she was connected with her mentor, Kristiann, a relationship that has been deeply meaningful.
“I have had no support for me, I have been on my own – in terms of my own voice. To have Kristiann talk to me and help me when I am not seeing something straight or clear… She gives me a voice. Just having someone to talk to, to build a relationship with someone that genuinely wants to talk to you. She is awesome.”
Together, River and Kristiann have been working toward the stability her family needs to thrive.
“She is helping me find stability with any form I can. I am really really big on stability. I haven’t had that for my life and I want that for my kids.”
River has big dreams for her future, and for her children’s.
“I want to get a house, I want to finish schooling, I want to get a tattoo apprenticeship, and I want to get my kids into daycare and give them the most stable start to life and teach them things I would have loved to have been taught. Just give them the best possible start to life that I can.”